


The Vent Book

by Flaffs_Multiversal_Mindsoup



Category: Original Work
Genre: ANYWAYS-, Anyways, Gen, I shouldn't forget that one, I would animate it or something but my mom found my youtube and I don't want her on it, I'm tired but in a different, Song: Watashi no Aaru | My R, Songfic, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, TW: Pills, check there please, english version because yeah, here's how I feel about it-!, me: we write oneshots about them and post them?, more warnings in the notes, mostly because she makes bitchass comments about me not talking to her, oh yeah, oh yeah I swear in this, only in first bit, therapist: and how do we deal with things that upset us?, vent - Freeform, vent book, wait there's a tag for my r?, wrote this instead of eating, yay...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flaffs_Multiversal_Mindsoup/pseuds/Flaffs_Multiversal_Mindsoup
Summary: Air vented





	The Vent Book

**Author's Note:**

> Well it's charming, I'd say sorry.  
> It's my mistake to let it harm me.  
> [...]  
> Though it hurts, it still sounds special taken from me.  
> Heh, oh well.
> 
> I'm going through this stuff, it's literally just a vent. I'm ok, just mostly tired I guess.
> 
> TW: suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation, and slight suicidal planning. Nothing happens though.  
>  **If you feel like you are also having suicidal thoughts, seek help please. You matter and I really don't want to see you gone. I care about you and urge you to talk to a therapist** (as I am for my problems).  
> Also venting and bad writing.

_"There's no one here today, I guess it's time..."_

The music blasted through her earbuds as a concerned voice rang out.

"...Are you ok?" She looked out the window at the gas station as some kids from her school messed around in the convenience store parking lot. Voice drenched in apathy, she answered.

"I'm fine." 

_"It's just me, myself, and I"_

Flaff's mom rolled her eyes as the light changed to green. The car started forward and that was the end of the conversation.

_"There's no one who can interfere..."  
"No one to get in my way here."_

"...If, you felt like you wanted to..." Flaff glanced at her mom, watching with silent interest as the clock ticked and the world turned.

"...kill yourself... You- you would tell me right?" Ah, so that's what it was. It hasn't really been the same since her mom had found some of her songs. 

_"Taking off my yellow cardigan..."_

_No._ She thought bitterly. 

_Not with all you've done to me, and my siblings. Not with what you did to my sister._ Flaff kind of wanted to scream, bug she didn't have the energy to. And even if she did, it wasn't like screaming would fix anything, especially this fucking awful car ride.

_"Watching my braids all come undone..."_

"Of course." She said instead, putting on that mask. She could almost feel it slowly fuse to her face as the smiles came up and she tried to act happier, _be_ happier. 

She didn't want to become that mask, even though it was harder and harder to take off each time.

_"This petite girl short as can be..."_

"Good." Her mom simply said, seemingly satisfied with the short answer. Flaff thought bitterly about this stupid charade they played around feelings and admittance. She shouldn't have to own this mask. She shouldn't have to switch to a different face whenever her walls came up and the world became a world of shadows and pain.

Nonetheless, the world spun round and the clock ticked...

 _"Is going to jump now and be free!"_  
______

She was sitting at the edge of the bed, wondering if she should stay up a couple more hours or try her hardest to get some sleep. 

Reaching over to the bedside table, Flaff picked up the sleeping meds. She read the label and sighed.

**Adults: take only one tablet 30 minutes before going to bed.**

Of course it was as her mother had told her, even throwing in a warning about how she'll OD if she even thinks about taking two.

But Flaff had taken one 30 minutes ago, just as it said. And all she had from it was a throbbing headache. No more tired than she used to be.

Because, you see, she was tired. Just not that tired. She was tired of repeating the motions and not sleeping and feeling this awful weight on her chest and struggling to throw the covers off of her and start the day. She wanted to sleep for once, and wake up feeling better than ever with enough energy to last a lifetime. 

She didn't want to die. She wanted to sleep and feel the peace of expiring, only to wake up the next day fully awake and happy.

Isn't that how sleep is for others, after all?

Flaff's hands still held the bottle that held the good for nothing pills. She opened it, gazing at the small blue pills. She wanted to take another, just to sleep, but she knew better than to mess with pills. 

_You could down the whole bottle, and you wouldn't have any problems ever again._

Flaff blinked rapidly, shaking her head to dislodge that terrible thought. _Nothing good would come from it! You know that._ She reasoned back.

Throwing the bottle of pills at the wall, it clattered uselessly on the ground. She shook the last of that thought, feeling sick from the world around her as it spun. A clock ticked from somewhere in the clock, marking the passage of time and her very real breaths.


End file.
